So. You are at a rock concert, and you decide it would be a good idea to let a bunch of people hoist you up on top of all the other people, and get lifted across, eh?
Well, let me tell you a little story about being 6’4, and therefore usually one of the tallest people in a concert venue…
Okay, that was the executive summary of my story.
Yesterday, I got kicked and/or hit and/or headbutted by no less than five people who were crowdsurfing and toss-potting around in a mosh pit.
Fuck, I understand that crowdsurfing has a purpose, but that purpose is if you are so deprived of oxygen that you pass out, people will lift you up and pass you to the front so the medical care people can take care of you, instead of getting trampled. Obvious solution, really, because in concert environment, navigating through the crowd (especially if you are about to pass out) is not easy.
Yesterday was taking the piss though: Hundred Reasons and Jimmy eat World – the average age in there must have been about 18. Lots of kids who obviously went to a concert for the very first time in their lives. And decide to do all the things the cool kids are doing.
So I’m standing there, rocking my poor little heart out, slightly weary, as I had already been hit in the head several times, by idiots who use crowdsurfing as a form of entertainment. Anyway, I’m rocking out suitably, and suddenly – out of nowhere – a foot appears, and twats me straight in the eye. Not just along the side of the cranium, or against my eyebrow – his heel literally digs its way into my eyeball. I scream, and crumple up. The only reason why I don’t collapse is that the crowd keeps me upright.
I start making my way sidewards towards an area with some air. My eye is burning in its socket, and I am convinced I’m bleeding like a motherfucker. I’m trying to look out through my left eye, but no avail. Nothing. Just blackness and searing, horrible, vile pain.
As I stand on the side, this ugly little brat – about 17 years of age – walks past me, and brags to his friend how he kicked someone in the head while crowdsurfing. Still convinced my eye is bleeding, not sure if I’ll ever be able to see ever again, i stick out my left arm, pull him towards me, and scream: “Hey, asshole, do you think that’s funny? Look at my fucking eye, you dipshit – you fucking kicked me in the head for no reason. Do you like that, huh?”. He glances over at his other little friend (who is about 15, and stands about 5′ tall), and mumbles something along the lines of “uh, well, it wasn’t my fault”
“you were fucking bragging about it”, I yell, as I raise my right hand, balled to a tight fist “not half a second ago, you complete fuckwit”, I finish, and then land my fist square in his ugly, pudgy little face. His friend tries to protest, but one glance later, he changed his mind and ran off. I let my victim stumble off, bleeding like a stabbed pig from his nose.
“You are so cruel, Dipsolect”, I hear you say. “It was only an accident”. Bullshit. People bragging about kicking people in the head do not NEED to crowdsurf – they are just being indulgent little brats spoiling the whole fun for those of us who are there to dance, rock out, enjoy the music, and have a good time.
I’m perfectly happy to be kicked in the head by someone who has been injured or who is about to pass out (they won’t be flailing like fucking idiots, at least), but:
the next person who hits me in the head while crowdsurfing for fun, I’m going to latch onto, drag down into the fucking crowd and batter to within an inch of his fucking miserable little life.
Then, I’ll send him back up to be deported – with good reason, this time.
(parts of this story is fiction. But only the part where I leather the fella who kicked me in the eye. But only because I couldn’t find him. I did go looking for him. Oh, and the dude who was proud of kicking someone in the head really did exist. He didn’t kick me though. I should have beaten him up anyway)
Oh, after about half an hour, normal vision returned to my eye, but now – 12 hours later – it still has this dull, constant ache. Annoying, but probably not dangerous